godheadcomplex: if i ever tell you that something is my favorite song dont listen to me im a fucking liar i have more favorite songs than there are babies in china
swaetshrit: my hobbies include sleeping and feeling like i’ve never slept
ambassador-of-anguish: shouldertappingghosts: If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate...
fonmasterguard: So no one at my friend’s old high school is allowed to dress up for halloween anymore because one year this kid came to school on a bike wearing a red jumpsuit with tampons taped to him. He rode around the school telling people he was the menstrual cycle
best-of-funny: the-vashta-nerada: my older sister is getting a law degree but she needs to have extra classes that aren’t related to law to complete it so she’s taking tree climbing 101 as in a class that teaches you how to climb trees let’s talk about the american education system X
i’m jealous of people who have cute laughs and fast metabolisms and nice teeth and good hair and can just make any outfit look good and get along with everyone and are great at sports and do well in school bc none of that is me